Holy Procrastination

Okay, Why can't I just do the stuff I'm supposed to do on time instead of having to always wait for the very last minute to even attempt to do them?

Why? WHY? WHYYYYY?

I don't freaking get me anymore. I keep complaining about needing more time to do stuff, but when I actually get that precious needed time I prayed for the heavens to give me, what do I do?

a)nothing
b)watch cute bunnies eating carrots on YouTube
c)be responsible and finish homework

If you answered a then ***ding ding ding*** we have a winner.

If you answered b then ***ding ding ding*** you are a winner too (isn't this awesome?)

But if you answered c then ***Dum dum dum dummmm***** WTH were you thinking???!!!!!

Why can't I just get go home and do what I'm supposed to do?

I'm so mad at myself, I won't eat my favorite dessert in the whole wild world as punishment D: even though it's there. In my fridge. With my name on it (btw, it's whipped cream)

Oh well, I guess I procrastinated enough for tonight. Toodles 8)

(btw the way, when I first heard the word Procrastination, I actually thought it was something sexual related LOL. I don't know why I ever thought that.)

I want some food please

Lately I've been craving a lot of stuff. Like a freaking pregnant woman.

But NO WAY I'm pregnant.

But I'm starting to feel sorry for all those pregnant chicks who I always watch on TV having cravings in the middle of the night. Usually I felt sorry for the husband and thought to myself "Geezzz lady, your kid doesn't even know what pizza is yet, stop blaming this whims on your unborn child". But now I see their point.

Cravings in the middle of the night is just something sooooooo frustrating for everyone involved.

I was so craving a chocolate cake with whipped cream on top. Mmmmm. And the night before that I was craving a very cheessy pizza with a lot of pineaple and red peper. Just writing about it makes me want to have one.

I guess all this crazziness is because I'm sort of kinda on a diet.

I'm still not sure if I should call it a diet because........well.....I still kinda eat whatever I want, except on smaller portions of course.

But i'm not sure if it's working out because since to keep my self within the limited calories amount per day I need, I can only eat for example three misserable chips ahoy cookies with half a glass of milk. And that alone is like 200 something calories. And I don't get full with just that. Who does???

So then I eat cereal with nuts and dried strawberries and lots of other yummy stuff. But just that is 250 calories. Not counting milk!! So by the time I'm done with my breakfast I've already consumed half the calories I need per day.

And the worst part of this is that my stupid stomach makes these really embarrasing noises if i don't feed it every 10 minutes.

Since I'm in school part of the morning and the afternoon I need to keep feeding my stomach nonstop in classes because I don't want it to start growling at me. And I mean that literally.

It makes so much noise I'm completely mortified whenever I have a test and I can't just keep on eating.

sigh :(
I guess I'm not going to lose weight.

Another summer without hitting the beaches.

Sleepless in.......my room.

yawnnnnnnn
I'm so tired +_+ right now.

I didn't go to bed at all last night. I just didn't feel like "wasting" my time sleeping. I have this funny thing were I feel like taking showers ans sleeping is "losing" precious time. Even though those two are extremely important for survival and above all presentation.

I keep hearing and reading that one needs to get at least 8 hours of sleep every night. And that sleep makes you have better skin and look better overall.

But even that doesn't make me want to hit the sheets.

What's wrong with me???!!!!!

Why the hell can't I just stick to an schedule(a NORMAL one for once) and finally get good skin in return????

I need sleep.

I need coffee(But I won't drink any because I don't like the taste.......except for those iced coffees from starucks. With whipped cream. Yummmsss)

I need a life period. There has to be one around here somewhere. right??

N E E D -T O -G E T - OFFLINE.

Life's facts (at least my life's facts)

Today I had a mini fight with my mom. We usually have some of those. There is always something that bothers me not only of her but of everyone in my family. My sister has told me before that I think too highly of myself and that I put other people down. Although I always deny this, I think that if I'm sincere with myself, I have to agree with her. I do put people down. Sometimes I don't want to but I still do it. Is there a reason for this, maybe? I might have some psychological trauma from childhood that makes me hurt those that are closer to me. What really bugs me is that I'm totally different with other people. I would actually be considered a pushover by people outside my family. I don't really know myself. I always brag to my sisters that I know who I am and that I never have a problem with self confidence but true to be told I'm terrified of other people. Although I always say that I don't care what others think I actually do. I wish I didn't. I wish I was confident enough to trust myself and not care of what others might think of me. That might never happen. Right now, at this point of my life, I feel more lost than ever. I feel so alone. I feel like somedays I can't deal with anything or anyone. That scares me a little. Actually a lot. I don't know if I'm strong enough to have my life as I want it. I need a purpose, but I just don't know how to get one. Help!